Why I chose: ‘I am the Master of my fate, the Captain of my soul’ (Henley 1875)?

When I set out to create my website, I never wanted families to break-up. I still don't. Not only because of the wounds that may never heal, but because, my personal experience had shown me that 80-90% of women didn’t want to leave their abusers. Research statistics may differ, but research has many caveats like, who’s funding them. Which questions do they want to answer and what are their reasons for this research, what are they trying to achieve?

For me, this defeats the purpose. Working with people through and after abuse, especially war, is about letting them know how amazing they are and helping them find their voice. Their voice, not the voice I want to give them.

Through my travels in and out of women’s lives, I saw that the majority of women everywhere, whether Black, White, Brown or Yellow, were not given the love and kindness I took for granted. It was a lesson in getting real. Life was not how I imagined it. Girls/Women were shown how to take care of others; children, the elderly, and the house. They learnt to cook and clean and serve others.

There’s nothing wrong with that, except that there is.

This was such an alien construct for me and one that would ultimately lead to me biting the bullet and putting myself in the firing line. What’s wrong with the concept is, these girls were not being loved or respected. And so the cycle continues.

I don’t think so.

When I share how I, as a Muslim woman from Pakistan grew up, was raised, was nurtured, was loved unconditionally and am still loved unconditionally, I feel like I’m living on another planet, speaking a language unknown to man.

I was the Master of my fate and the Captain of my Soul. I didn’t need Henley to write those words for me, what I needed to do was learn to gently let myself go into being that amazing soul that is within me, within all of us. None of us can say we don’t have it although life may have made our vision a little blurred. If you’ve been systematically unloved, you may think otherwise.

What I want for everyone is for them to feel the rhythm of their heart beat, to experience and live their life, to follow their hearts.

If you’d like to find out about yourself, and maybe a little about me - I invite you to join me.