Welcome

I invite you to explore Inshiraa and watch women (and men) Unleash their Power using information I give. I created Define Yourself! based on women telling me I'd changed their lives so I'm making it available to everyone.
Sadly, if you're experiencing domestic violence or abuse you are not alone.
1 in 3 women women (aged 15-49) experience violence globally in intimate relationships (WHO).
In the USA 1 in 10 men experience abuses by intimate partners and suicide rates for men are 4 x higher than for women. Statistics for children increase at alarming rates.

My Trigger is the Unborn Child

I create safe spaces to explore relationships: whether they are intimate - personal - family - friends. Learn to make your own decisions.
Just Imagine where you could be in a month, 6 months or 12 months and what that would mean to you ...? Imagine Life Without Abuse

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"I am the master of my fate, I am the Captain of my soul."
’INVICTUS’ BY W E HENLEY

Meet Ruby

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I'm Ruby Raja, Author of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse (coming soon), and Writer for Her Nation, an online magazine for Women.

I created Define Yourself! on the testimonies of women who freed themselves from abusers based on what I shared with them. I specialise in helping people who've been abused or experienced trauma realise how amazing they are by changing the lens with which they view themselves.   As a Domestic Violence and Coercive Control Trainer and Trauma facilitator, I work with men, women and young people.

I ventured into the Criminal Justice System to understand the 'how and why' of abusers' behaviours and became a Probation Officer gaining a Diploma in Probation Studies (DipPS):
I found their lives were littered with unresolved trauma and pain.

I worked with girls as they transitioned into becoming women. They told me they felt invisible, unheard and unseen, a replaceable commodity.

In November 2020 after experiencing a serious traumatic incident, I attended the BeyondTrauma program and became a Certified Trauma Facilitator in 2021. I gained a L4 Trauma Qualification (ACCPH).

Based in London and Miami, I invite and welcome you to Inshiraa.

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25+

25+ years experience working with women and children experiencing abuse in the UK, (USA & Pakistan)

15+

15+ years experience in the UK Criminal Justice System - Probation and Youth Offending.

3+

3+ years delivering BeyondTrauma program

My book (Coming Soon)

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

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Many people don't know that Muslim women suffer domestic violence and abuse (DV A) the same way women in the West experience it because the media doesn't want you to.

Whether it's a friend, a colleague, or you that was harmed through DVA or sexual abuse, you'll find much needed wisdom within the pages of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse – Journeys from Abuse to Freedom.

In this book, Ruby captures the intimate journeys of three women and shares them in a way that brings an extremely painful, dangerous experience that so many women, and men, are experiencing to life, safely. You can do anything if you have, and choose, the right tools. In the healing process it's important to not just be heard, but truly seen, as abuse can leave us feeling invisible, unheard and unseen, simply forgotten.

There is hope...

These courageous women Dared to Imagine Life without Abuse and took risks after listening carefully to the knowledge Ruby had to share about DVA, Islamic and UK law, coercive control and the narcissist. They told Ruby they didn't know about these issues but, the greatest gift of all was what they did with this information - they set themselves free.

They chose to change their narrative to:

"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."
(Henley, 1875).

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"I would recommend this unreservedly. The programme moves you forward, provides a plan and gives strategies to use. The delivery was great - I shared things I'd never shared."
MC, 2021 - Wales, UK
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“Ruby, you need to write a book about what you taught me then take that book and tour the USA. Two sessions with you have been more useful for me than 7 years of counselling.”
KC - 2001, Florida USA
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"You’re the bridge where East meets West. I feel I can explore and ask questions. I know I can simply be me."
SL 1983 - London, England
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"I thought I’d overcome my issues but they all started coming out - With the domestic violence programme I learnt how to deal with abuse from my husband and family. With the trauma programme I learnt how to techniques to cope with my depression - I learnt how not to keep falling back into the same cycle."
FA 2021 - SW England - completed both programmes
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"If I’d had all this information before, I wouldn’t have wasted 7 years of my life. I would have left him earlier and wouldn’t have suffered as much. If you know your rights, where to go and what to do it changes everything - there’s help out there."
IN 2021 - London, England - Completed Both Programmes
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"I found the programme was a constructive way to revisit my past, it helped me review traumatic events in my life that I had regrets about - I had major breakthroughs. I really enjoyed the mind map, it helped me get in touch with my feelings and identify my emotions."
NW 2021 - Florida, USA
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The Bespoke 1:1 validated my feelings with evidence and fact. I learnt how patriarchy affected my life and how culture governed my thought processes.
TS 2021, England
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I learnt to separate culture from religion in my decision making processes. (Bespoke 1:1)
AN 2020, London, UK
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"I would recommend this unreservedly. The programme moves you forward, provides a plan and gives strategies to use. The delivery was great - I shared things I'd never shared."
MC, 2021 - Wales, UK
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You’re amazing just the way you are, you just don’t know it yet...
Inshiraa